Not Your Mother‘s Book Club

Gaggle of Gaggers

Feral, Flaming, and Flourishing, oh my!
Here’s the deal. You suggest a book. We’re gonna read it…and forget who suggested it. This week on Mikayla’s Therapy Session Elle Kennedy is comin in hot with The Deal. Raise your voice and blow my whistle cause this soapy dick has one more brain cell left and Dharma’s gonna cry about it while swinging that bat dick. Murder on the dance floor. Kick rocks Meth Boy. xo

Germans in a Tree

Orchard-ers, Shaved Foreheads, and Maiden veils, oh my! 
It took us 30 minutes to come up with a title for this episode so you better freaking enjoy it. Please welcome back the infamous Lynsay Sands with her book Hunting for a Highlander. Great Scot! We got apples, blankets, and papers galore. Objects or children? Ask Gwenyth. Hymen? I barely know her. This is not our best work. Just listen to the episode. 

Deck-Her

Dogs, Drugs, and the DEA, oh my! 
It’s season 4 smutzzzzz! Get ready for a wild season of shenanigans and Mikayla’s sex life in unbearable detail. Starting off strong with Tee O’Fallon’s Tough Justice. We judged a book by its cover and ended up in smut jail. Hot and heavy who? Wild animal who? K-9, more like 69. Strap on your dildo holster cause this season is gonna be a rough f*ck in your anal channel. 

HOLIDAY BONUS: Bears-a-Bleeding

Birds, Eggnog, and 12-inch Tongues, oh my! 
On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…Railed by the Krampus by Dalia Davies. Just kidding, he actually gave me a lot of birds for some reason. Join us on our candy cane adventure through the land of eggnog cocks, bleeding bears, and swimming swans and rabbits jumping and men cumming and partridges pearing and your parents getting divorced and grandma getting hit by a reindeer and having to sell your soul to to a man named Klaus that shares a penis with a demon for a lump of coal. O holy thy night.

HALLOWEEN BONUS: Bootyhole Dress

Peencers, Lipsticks, and Cervixisez, oh my! 
Let us spin you a tale on this hallows of all eves. What has 6 legs, 4 arms, peencers, and a bootyhole working overtime? Kayden. In a shocking tale of high cervixes and lighthouses with lights, learn what it means to be hog-tied in a space jungle continuum. Ensnared by Tiffany Roberts will have you screaming “GET YOUR PENIS OUT OF MY CERVIX”...or something along those lines. Happy Smut-o-ween! 

Mikayla Takes the Wheel (Pt. 3)

Baby, Child, and Offspring, oh my! 
YOUR ASS IS GRASS YA BASTARD! Welcome to the finale of Season 3! If you’ve made it this far... What’s wrong with you? But also…we are THE BEST podcast ever soooo. You’re welcome. Erin and Dominic are back in this tale as old as time. Is their child still dead? Will there be more cuckolding? Is Mikayla still illiterate? Yes. 

Be Gay!

Because I, Because you, Because we, oh my! 
Shut up inner dialogue! This title may be misleading but…we don’t care. Deal with it. Have you ever been a misogynist and dreamt of ordering a woman online? Well…this episode is for you ‘cause women are meant to be mothers, ‘cause cows are meant to be cows, and ‘cause men are meant to be cowboys that ride off into the sunset shirtless while naming their child Bug. Save a book. Ride a cowboy. 
Oh yeah, the book is called Unbridled Cowboy by Maisey Yates.

Yes, Daddy **UNLOCKED**

Papa, Pa, and Pops, oh my!
It’s the last DP episode of Season 2 and guess what smuts…your unanimous decision unanimated our pussies. Good job Jamie! We are two very proud mistresses. When we say YES, you say DADDY. YES! DADDY! YES! DADDY!

Cooter Sling

Wings, Claws, and Tats, oh my! 
Watch your cholesterol! This man-se-ses is about to brine all up in here. King Henry is literally alive for 800 years and stalking a reincarnated witch in Stalked by the Boogie Man by Siggy Shade. Will you be pickled or blasted in a sea of cum? Bonus points if you can guess how his penis is “sparkles different”. And by bonus points we mean high cholesterol. Allie-------noooooo!

THE Book

Ogres, Coaches, and Shame Wizards, oh my! 
With a book cover like that…we were NOT prepared. We opened Pandora's box and our vaginas are not okay. Praise and thanks to our lord and savior, Tessa Bailey. She is really doing the lord’s work this week as we read Happenstance. Obsession, Confession, Possession, Aggression, Depression, Suspension. I don’t know…we no longer have any blood in our brains. You always know the book is good when Mikayla shuts the fuck up. Welcome to our most silent episode yet.